Vadym

I just wanted to give an update to the hundreds of people who have followed our story with Vadym. He has his new American name and is a happy little guy now living with an amazing family in California. I now talk to his mom on Facebook and keep up on his photos and family. He looks amazing and it brings tears to my eyes to see his happy little smile. I will see him very soon and cannot wait. God has certainly bless him, his siblings, and his wonderful new family. I look forward to being able to watch my little man grow up happy and healthy. There is nothing like it.

We are getting our host children for winter hosting in two weeks. Please check in on my profile to follow the blog on our new journey as we to change more lives.

Vadym has been adopted!

I just go word today that Vadym has been adopted and now lives in California. I am so happy for him and looking forward to his new family reaching out to us. I can't wait to hear all about it and watch tis angel baby grow up happy and healthy. Yay!

Today a Piece of my heart got on an airplane to Ukraine.

Ok, here we are. They day I have been dreading.

I had to take Vadym to the dentist this morning because Dr. Radwan had ordered him a retainer to keep his teeth from moving while we waited for his permanent molars to grow in. He ended up with 4 pulled teeth and some fillings of three appointments. It was pretty cool to see him with a retainer. Dr. Radwan ROCKS!

We then did a stressful trip to Walmart (my least favorite store in the world, bla). I had ordered 450 pictures for our albums, one to send home with Vadym of his trip. I got a couple going away gifts for Bogdon and Vika also. We ran back home and loaded up Serg and Vadym. I did Vadym's album on the way to the airport and stuck it in his backpack. It was pretty cool. He looked at it in the car when I was done and then held it to his chest like he loved it. Anything to keep me from crying today.

First thing Grego said when he got up this morning was "Vadym leaves today". Please don't make me cry!

So yes, holding back tears ALL MORNING and worried about the waterfall at the airport. I joked with Vadym when we loaded the car and did my fake cry "No Vadym leave Mama. No". He smiles.

Oh and by the way. I am not taking pictures today because it's not a day I want to remember.

So we met up with everyone and went through the ticket line then sat down for lunch at the airport food court. All the Ukraine kids were sitting together and laughing and catching up. Vadym came over to check on us a few times. :0). We sat with the other families and traded stories. At least 3 of the 5 kids who hosted in California are getting adopted. Yay!

 So back to the airport.

We then did the dreaded walk to leave them at security. Holding back tears isn't going well at this point. This whole time Gary is pretty quiet and watching Vadym a lot. I know he is heartbroken to see him leave.

Ok, at security..... Eyes are welling up but it seems to be only me. Vadym was hugging everyone and I was sitting back. He came up to me and I lost it...like I am doing again now. (As I am writing this Grego is filling up his photo album with all the pictures and showing me each one and telling me what we did.) I hugged him and held him and kissed his head. When I had to let go he looked up at me and I can see from the look on his face he knew I wasn't joking when I told him I was going to cry at the airport. Then I looked over and all the host mom's were in tears hugging their little angels. Serg gave me his Ukrainian pout lip and shrug and gave me a hug while Gary hugged Vadym. Ugh. Soooooo hard.
(K, Grego is sitting here looking at my tears. I guess he has never really seen me cry before. Or not for a very long time if he ever has. I started laughing and asked him why he is staring at me and he said he has never seen a grownup cry before. Giuliana is kissing my leg then crawled up to give me a hug...lol. I just love my babies.)

None of the kids cried but you can see they are sad to say goodbye but happy to get on the plane. They all waved at us for the next 15 minutes in line. Gary still quiet and watching Vadym. He did talk a little today but mostly about how wonderful Vadym is. During this time all the families did tears and hugs and we talked about different things. Then we said goodbye and Gary and I got a coffee and pastries (comfort food). The drive home Gary was quiet and I tried to stay busy so I didn't cry. We came home and took a nap. I feel exhausted from the tears. Gary must be too.

Well thanks for following our journey. I will post anything I learn about Vadym and our communication. Serg said we will be able to stay in touch with him and send him letters. I will be visiting his orphanage the end of September and be able to visit him if he is not adopted by then.

I am going to back and adding some photos to my older posts now that I figured out I can do that. :0). Be sure to check them out. I also found out we are in the paper. Here is the link
http://ourcommunityfocus.com/bookmark/14878825/article-Visit+Brings+Hope+to+Ukrainian+Children#.TkxBvRXYsmQ.facebook

Sorry for a quick ending but I am so tired. i just want to hold my babies and cry.

We had an amazing 5 weeks with Vadym and though it's hard to say goodbye we will do it again and again.And yes it has changed all of us. I'm not really sure how describe it but I think our family is stronger than ever. We shared our lives with this beautiful little boy and he changed us....and I know he also changed. He has a happy smile, he has been loved, he formed a bond with all of us, and he had an amazing summer. The love and joy we have had the last 5 weeks is priceless.

Gary told me he is looking forward to keeping in touch with Vadym and says he will never forget us. I hope not. Oh he did see the article of Gary in the Business Journal in the car and was so excited to see "Papa" in the paper so I put it in his backpack. He knows us and knows where we live and knows our names and the winery. Gary told me at the airport "we will see him again". There is something so comforting about my husband/best friend's voice when I am hurting. This little sentence meant so much to me and I trust him that we will.

August 16th

So here we are the day before Vadym leaves. Ugh.

Serg came back from San Diego and Cara from Angel's Haven got to my house around 4pm. We headed over to the winery for a party for Vadym. I got a big cake and everyone brought presents.

All the kids played on the grass with balls and we had pizza. Everyone had a blast.

Gary brought Vadym over to cut his cake and he said "No No No". Then he ran behind the table and sat on the ground and turned his back to us.I could see he didn't want this party to be about him. He had also told one of the boys who was there that he didn't want to go home. He told this to Serg the chaperon also. :0(. So we just went forward and cut the cake and he got up and walked back to the kids to play. When I showed him all the gifts he said "no they are for Bogdon". :0(.

At the end of the night my mom got him to open a gift and he loved it. My mom was doing the dramatic sounds like the gifts were all amazing. He loves that so he got really excited and finished opening them all with the kids all around him in a huddle. Big smiles...yay.

It was really fun and at the end the Enderle kids and my kids were cracking us up with "pit farts" and "knee farts". Gross I know but it was funny at the time. Grego and Vadym have been driving me crazy with this since they figured out how to do it the last week. A lot of boys were doing it at sports camp so they have been on a mission to figure it out. Kim and Eric just finally met Vadym and of course they all fell in love with him as everyone does who meets him. He was really into Eric when he found out he was a police officer and they wrestled and played cops.

Of course toward the end of the night I started tearing up. Ugh.

We came home and packed all Vadym's presents in his suitcase. Again, you can see he is not thrilled about leaving but understands. Then we hung out with Serg and caught up on his adventure in San Diego and Ukraine hosting.

Tomorrow is a day I dread! Anxiety has set in as I don't even know what to expect and fear I will sob my eyes out.

Winter Hosting Program

I just wanted to put in a quick note that we are planning my trip to Ukraine for our Winter Host Program.

We are looking for cash donations to sponsor orphans to travel to the US and clothes donations to bring with us to Ukraine for the orphanages. Please email us if you can help.

I will be visiting 2 or 3 orphanages to meet children. This helps us to answer questions families have about the children and to help us learn more about them and make sure they are a good fit for the program and to travel to the US. We have an amazing coordinator in Ukraine who will be helping us put this all together.

Please email me if you are interested in hosting at Christmas and help us change the lives of these beautiful children.

ginger.guglielmo@gmail.com

August 12th

Today we are just recovering from our Disneyland trip. Grego and Vadym have been playing on the computer together, video games and being like best friends. They have not even had one tiff today.

He is eating well but I am having a hard time getting him to try new things. He is still my big meat eater.

One thing I have to say about him is he is very righteous. He likes things to be fair and he does not show any signs of stealing or being manipulating at all. He will cheat at games a bit because he hates to lose but that is it. We are working on that and he gets it. He will tell me when Giuliana is doing something bad or needs a diaper change. He has learned to use his words to tell her not hit him instead of push her down or hit her back. Not like he did these things hard or mean, just wanted her to stop and didn't know any other way. We worked on it now he will tell her to please stop and hold her hands or gets away from her until I can get to her.

When Gary came home from work Vadym came and sat right on his lap and watched football with him. Grego didn't even seem to be bothered by it except he wanted Vadym to come back and play with him.

I did measure all three of them and mark the wall chart. This was exciting for all three kids. Just too cute..Ugh more tears! Sniff Sniff.

August 10th and 11th

We took Gary to the airport and headed to Disneyland. Again it was hot and long lines and the boys were done early. We were back by 3pm to rest. I tried to get the boys to sleep but not happening. They have to much fun being boys.

We headed back and it was fun but they were tired and grouchy so we came home right after the fireworks. We went straight to bed. It was fun but two days was too much in the summer. Vadym did loved it and it was an amazing trip. The boys bonded even closer if that is at all possible. This child is like our son and he acts like it. We are going to miss him so much.

The next morning I got them up and out the door by 5a.m. to drive home. They did sleep most the way this time but still did their playing and chants. Fun times. :0). We got home by 11 and just chilled the rest of the day. Vadym did clean his and Giuliana's room again so I gave him money. I told him he could not take the money back to Ukraine and needed to spend it before he left. He told me he could exchange it for Ukraine money. He is super smart. I told him it was against the rules so we would have to go to the store. He was fine with that....I think!

August 9th

Big Day! We got to Disney land early and I was like a little kid. All I wanted to do was be on the rides and see the reaction of the boys. Disneyland was a nightmare by 11am and hot. Too many people and they boys actually wanted to go home. Don't get me wrong, the rides were amazing and they loved them it was just too much with the hour lines and heat.

So we got back to the condo by 2 to rest and got back to meet Gary's niece and her kids at 6pm. We rode a few more rides at California Adventure and then had dinner and headed back to Disney. Gary went home around 10pm and I stayed with the boys until midnight. It was so much better with less people and no heat. The boys could care less about the fireworks they just wanted to ride. They didn't want to do any baby rides either. It was all about the big ones and roller coasters.

In one of the lines Vadym was telling me that Ukraine did not have roller coasters. All of a sudden I could see his face completely change like he went into shock. He looked me in the eye and said "Me no go back to Ukraine Mama,  Please, Please". It was like all of a sudden he realized it was going to happen and he was thinking about being home. I just about died because he had never said anything like that before. He said it over and over and I was devastated. I didn't even know what to say but just hugged him. It's so hard to write this stuff and relive it. I just cry.

He has completely become part of our family. It's like he has always been with us. It's so hard to imagine he will be leaving soon. I can't even prepare for it. It is too heartbreaking. I got back to the condo and told Gary what he said and it broke Gary's heart also. We just love this kid so much.

I have been getting emails about him and talking to people and my coordinator in Ukraine told me there are many families interested in him and his siblings. I was not prepared for that either. I thought for sure it would take a while and I could get him at Christmas but I guess there is a good chance that won't happen. They are so young...I am finding that many people are interested in sibling groups. It's a blessing but hard all in one. I guess this blog has helped a lot of people get to know him and fall in love with him and I am so happy about that. Doesn't make it easy for me to lose him though. I just hope I can stay in contact with him. I cant' imagine not knowing where he will be.

I have been working with the coordinator for my trip to Ukraine in September for our winter host program. I am going to visit 2 or 3 orphanages and Cara will visit 3 other ones. We are hoping to collect enough donations to bring the children winter jackets and shoes. They have it planned for us to go different directions so we can meet lots of kids to find good matches for our host families. Very exciting! We are hoping to visit the orphanage where our current host kids live also if they are not adopted by then. (Vadym and Bogdon). Bogdon has a family going back for him. They are in love with him. This hosting program is an amazing and life changing for everyone.

Monday August 8th

This morning we got up at 5 a.m. and headed to LA. We picked up Gary at the airport at noon and headed to have lunch. We then went to our timeshare and it was amazing. We ended up with a 3 bedroom penthouse and it was really nice. They boys could have had their own rooms but no, they had to take the room with twin beds so they can stay together.

The whole drive down the boys played in the back seat so cute. It was adorable. they didn't even sleep much. They do these funky handshakes and chants that they learned at sports camp. They watched movies and played DS. They would also play this thing were Grego was Sponge Bob and Vadym was Patrick. Just silly and funny.

We talked about him going home and again I told him I was going to cry at the airport and made my fake out loud sobbing noise. He loves that. He asked if Papa would cry and I said yes. Then he asked about Giuliana and I said no she was a baby and he said ya. Then he said "Grego no cry". Grego piped right in and said yes he was going to cry and be very sad. Ugh. I have to choke back tears. I never imagined they would bond so close.

We had dinner with our friends from Southern California that night and Vadym had a blast with our friend Paul. He is a silly guy and the boys just loved him. We all laughed a lot and it was a lot of fun. 

July 5th and 6th

Vadym is doing well. He and Grego are completely like brothers. They love each other one minute and tell on each other the next.

He likes to clean still and now I give him money for it. He keeps telling me how much he has.

We went to my friend Christy's house to swim and Vadym was able to swim in the deep end by the end of the evening. He was so excited.
Friday the 5th we went to Noni's for dinner and had risotto. He is not a fan of rice and would not touch it. Good thing we had meat appetizers and sausage. He still doesn't like pasta either.

Saturday the 6th was a big day for him. Grego got invited to a birthday party at a place where there was just a bunch of jump houses. Vadym's face was a lightbulb. He was so excited and had so much fun. I watched with tears in my eyes during the happy birthday song and cake. Vadym got right up front and watched everything in aw. I could not help but wonder what his birthdays are like. He seemed amazed by it all and I kept getting tears in my eyes watching him. I would seriously have to turn my head to stop from crying my eyes out. Even now writing this I can barely see through my tears. It did make me think that I am going to do a little going away party for him and make it like a birthday party. I just wonder if he has ever had a party.  

Every day we count down to Disney.

August 1 - 4

Vadym went to sports camp all week and all was good. We did our swimming also. He and Grego are doing much better again. They are like brothers now. They enjoy telling on each other.

Vadym cleans his room and will even go in and clean Giuliana's room. Sweeping and all. Grego gave him a dollar yesterday for making the bed. Like father like son. I didn't know this until after but Vadym was elated. I am not sure if he just likes to be tidy, is trying to be a good boy, or he is just bored sometimes. ...or all of the above. He told me he wants $100 dollars so maybe he wants me to pay him. They are not allowed to bring money back so I have been afraid to do that in case he has to give it back before he goes or give it to his chaperon. That would break his heart. I don't think he would spend it if I took him to the store. Not like he has to buy anything but I just don't think he would.

On Wednesday he had to go to the dentist. Poor little guy had three teeth pulled that were not fixable. The dentist said this will hopefully cause his permanent teeth to come in sooner. I need to take him back Friday to fill his cavities and get spacers where the teeth are missing. He was a trooper. He was not scared or anything. He was a little freaked out about being numb but the dentist had called a client who spoke Russian and he explained everything to Vadym. I think Vadym was living with so much pain he did not care what happened so long as we helped him. My poor Beebee. We have had him brushing twice a day so I think that was causing more pain. Dr. Radwan did all his dental work for free. He is the sweetest guy and amazing with kids. He thinks the world of Vadym.

I took him to my mom's after the dentist with the kids so Gary and I could do date night. When we picked them up he kept telling me he felt so much better and kept doing thumbs up to each cheek. He is so happy. Dr. Radwan is a blessing.

July 31st

Today we went to church. I could see this made Vadym very happy. He was very good and sat with us quietly. We got excited with the music and he would stare at the statues in the corner with all the candles.
After mass Gary took him over to look at them closer while Grego and I went to get Giuliana.

We went to breakfast and Vadym told me he attended church with his sister and brother. He also was trying to tell me things about his "Ukraine Mom". I could not understand it but it didn't seem good. You have to understand that "mom" could mean a lot of different things. It's what they call female caregivers so it could mean anything from his caregiver at the orphanage to his real mother or grandmother. I had to let it go because I didn't understand him but he seemed fine about whatever he was trying to tell me so I can't even say it was bad. I think being at church brought out more trust between us so he seemed to really want to tell me this story. :-(.

The rest of the day was lazy. He gets super bored when we don't do things and paces from one thing to another. He does like to watch soccer on TV and pay the soccer video game.

Grego chilled out today. He calls Vadym his brother and tells everyone he meets that.

July 30th

So today started out not so great but ended good.

We had to go to a family reunion and it was a little much for Vadym. I had got them dressed in nice clothes and Vadym asked me where we were going. I told him to a family party and he was ok with it. Trying to get all three kids ready and out the door was crazy and it didn't stop. Vadym was fine but Grego decided this was the day the "honeymoon" between him and Vadym was completely over and they were to now act like rival brothers. These signs have been showing the last few days but today was the day it was going to hit the fan.

It took us an hour to get there and Grego was just pushing all buttons. When we got there we met Zio George and Noni in the hall of the building and we did our hellos and hugs, all good. Then we walked in and saw all Gary's family and you could see Vadym was not happy. Then Noni and George tried to take him to get a drink and Vadym basically shut down. I was watching this happen as I was giving hugs and greeting. I had to make my way to him and save him but by that time he had completely shut down. It was way too much for him all at once. Everyone was trying to greet him and it was not going well. I took him over to the food and grabbed a bunch of stuff for him and brought him and the kids to our table at the end of the room. This was definately a  security for him to be far away from everyone. He would not talk or smile and Gary tried to call him over for pictures and he turned his back. I need to mention it was also overwhelming for my kids and they were not happy at first either. It was overwhelming for them so maybe this is just a natural thing but I am just more sensative toward Vadym.

So he ate but would not move from the chair much for a while. He would go a outside to check out what the kids were doing and then come back in. He sat down after we ate and he told me "Home!". I told him not yet and explained this was Papa's family that he had not seen in a very long time. He was pretty upset for not getting his was and got up from the table and went and sat by himself in the corner of the large dining area and turned his back to me. I let him have his space and didn't want to give his behavior a lot of attention. At this point everyone had left him alone and he was just mad because we weren't leaving when he told me he was ready to go. He then would go outside and go sit behind a pole where I couldn't see him but he would peek around to see what I was doing then come back in. He did this a couple time and then stopped.

All of a sudden he noticed all the older kids playing volley ball in a circle and "vwa la", he was happy. He ran over and Grego also joined. They played until we left. He was fine once he was doing something he wanted to do.

One the way home Grego was back to pushing buttons.

July 29th

Today Grego's good buddy from school called to take him swimming and do a play date. Perfect timing to give the boys a break from each other. It was acutally a peaceful day of no battling. I took Vadym and Giuliana to the pool and just relaxed. Vadym has become a great swimmer. He also loves jumping off the diving board but no deep end without the floaties. He may be ready but I'm not :0). He can just spend his time this summer practicing his strokes and swimming to the bottom in the shallow end. Sorry, call me a water freak. :0/.

After swimming Vadym asked for a "Cheese Berrrgerrr". I joked with him and told him he is going to get a big tummy and fat cheeks only eating Cheese Berrrgerrs. I then joked with him that he goes crazy over swimming and cheeseburgers and repeated it over and over and make crazy faces like I was Vadym. He thought this was hysterical. He loves when we play and act silly.

Vadym talked to Serg today and when Serg got back on the phone with me he told me Vadym told him all about my mom coming over with a load of gifts for him and how he got an electric airplane. He said Vadym talked about her and how sweet she was when the boys went to her house. You can tell Serg gets so emotional about how happy Vadym is. He told me he would never get so many happy things in his life being at an orphanage. :,( Oh, and he told Serg about all the ice cream he gets. :0). That is one of Gary's things a couple nights a week....the family trip to ice cream after dinner. It's not a lot but for him it is.

Later in the day I had to go shop for clothes for the kids for a our family reunion this weekend. Gary said Vadym just sat with him and rattled in Russian the whole time. He then took him and Giuliana outside to play. Vadym is really a "guy guy" and likes male figures. He is close to Serg and now Gary. You hear that sometimes the children come and get more attached to the "Host Mom". Vadym definitely does not have a preference. He loves us both the same. He will even climb up on our bed with our kids in the morning or sit on our couch at night when we watch TV. He has been up a little late the last few days because of his little naps after
swimming.

When I got back from the store I handed Vadym his clothes and he said "thank you" and took them in the room and put them in his drawers. I got the boys a new set of PJ's so he was tickled to see his new Spidy nighttime digs.

Vadym is also in the habit of getting up in the morning and brushing his teeth. I caught him using mouthwash though and had to tell him it's not good for little boys. He thinks he is suppose to and does his little arguing in Russian.

He still is not a big fruit eater. My mom brought over wonderful strawberries and cherries and he would not touch them. He likes watermelon, apples, and banana's but not a lot. Cucumbers and tomatoes are his favorite. He will grab a tomato out of the fruit bowl and eat it like an apple. He still does not like potatoes, except french fries.

More and more he walks around signing the alphabet and looks at us to see if he is doing it right. I found a leapfrog video on Netflix that had the alphabet. He sits and watches it and sings the songs and is practicing name of each letter. Gary was trying to teach him how to say R with out the "Russian Roll".  I need to find the leapfrog video that does all the sounds of the letters. I used it last summer on Gregorio to help him prepare for Kinder and it was amazing. I think I will use as many teaching videos in the car on the way to Disney as the boys will allow. I might even take the portable DVD so they can each watch their own movies so if Vadym wants to watch the alphabet ones he can. He still has a huge desire to learn English. He is a sponge. I am very impressed with how fast he picks things up.

I made sage butter raviolis and we had left over BBQ chicken. He eats the chicken legs down to the marrow I swear. He even sucks on the bone like Osso Bucco (sp?).

Grego came home exhausted and had dinner already and went straight to bed. He had a good day also. :0). I'm happy he was able to see his buddy.
Still no bad days

July 25th through 28th

Vadym has become completely comfortable with us. He even is starting to battle a bit with my six year old..:0). Finally getting sick of him saying "Mine" all the time. My mom had bought him some things to practice English alphabet and when Grego tried to take it Vadym said "MINE". You tell him Vadym! I think it humbled Grego a bit when I explained to him that he does that to Vadym. I understand it's hard to have a new friend living in your room and playing with your things but the mine thing gets old and I am always on Grego to think about what he is doing. I have to say, Grego has been doing better than I expected. Especially now that he knows how it feels. His response was, "well he is older"...lol. Me, "So that means you can't share"......No comment back.

Vadym is also battling for attention lately. When we swim he is right in there yelling "mom, mom, mom, mom" to show me his latest dance move or swimming stroke to get my attention away from everyone else. He still loves "good job Vadym"...big smiles.

He has now completely taught himself to swim. I still don't let him in the deep end but he IS swimming! Under water and freestyle. I took them earlier today and let them swim for hours so they are exhausted.

His new thing that is making me crazy is poking my face with some Russian game he does. At first it was a cute thing that he would do to me and Gary and then grab the nose while saying a rhyme in Russian. Only problem is now he does it to get attention away from everyone else and won't stop and his hands are all over my face poking and grabbing. Finally out to dinner last night I had to make him stop and tell him "no more face" and made faces like he was driving me crazy. He stopped and looked at me and nodded his head and said, "OK, no more face" with a big smile. I think he got it because it stopped. :0). Now that he is getting attention he wants more. 

Yesterday I told Grego to pick up his clothes and next thing I know Vadym had cleaned the whole bedroom and came out to ask me where the broom was. I looked in and told Grego Vadym was getting a surprise for doing work without being asked. Of course Grego freaked out and turned off his WII and helped Vadym make the beds. "Mom, I cleaned. Do I get a surprise?". I just hope this keeping the room clean wears off on him.

Two days ago we had good friends visit from Denver that we had not seen in a very long time. Vadym was in mine and Gary's face trying hard to get attention when we were talking. He grabs our hands and gets in our face and talks and tries to play games and dance. Or he yells "mom, mom, mom" and does something silly. Not much we could do about it but be sympathetic to his needs and deal with it and visit at the same time. I am not about to hurt his feelings and tell him to stop in front of everyone because he won't understand what he did wrong.

He is use to being introduced to people and does not act shy. He shakes hands and offers his big smile.

I have also noticed that he is getting more adventurous around the property. When we were with our friends having lunch at the winery the other day he disappeared and we were freaking out looking for him. I finally caught a glimpse of his florescent green shirt through the vines. We was out walking around the perimeter of the winery on the side by our house. He was just checking everything out. It's hard to tell him he can't just take off because he really didn't. He was there and not far just not in view. The one thing that got me was when I called to him he looked at me and then just kept walking. Not like him except in his sad times. I thought maybe he was having one and didn't make a big deal about it and just watched him make his way to me on his own time. Testing? Not sure. I really think he was just checking it all out, taking it all in, and just wanted to continue that on his way back.

It's all good. He is a good boy and ALL BOY!. We are all sitting around the living room now. Grego is sleeping and Gary and Vadym are seeing who can make the funniest noises with their mouths. Gary just showed him how to make his nose "pop". Vadym is trying to figure out why he can't do it. Hmmmm, tricky Papa.

I have been on my computer a little bit the last couple days and he get irritated with that. I am trying to find ways to raise more money for our Winter Host Program and he would rather me be focusing on him and playing.

I am cracking up right now because the "Upside Down Show" just came on. He is digging it. Not surprised. Even my son's friends in their 20's get mesmerized by these guys. Vadym keeps looking over at me like "are these guys for real." Too funny. I just also figured out that he is confused because he took a short nap when he got home from swimming and can't figure out why it is night time so soon. He keeps pointing outside saying "sleep". I say "yes sleep" and he argues "no sleep" with a confused look on his face. I guess he thought he slept all night. No wonder he asked for cereal when he got up. He is not getting it.

I think that is about it. I guess I should go to bed so he figures out it really is bedtime. Oh, yesterday he put 4 English words together. YAY! I can also tell he understands more than he can speak. Frustrating for him because he has so much to talk about. Doesn't stop him. He rattle off his Russian stories and I always agree and get excited about what he is saying. :0}.

July 24th.

Time to go home :0(. He was sad but fine with it. Dave Keegan has turned into "Grandpa Keegan" and spoiling the kids rotten. He rented them the mini bikes and they have played lots of video games in the arcade among all the other fun stuff to do there. Pancakes and Kielbasa for breakfast and then off to home.

When we got home he looked at me and pointed to the couch to ask in Russian if he could stay and sleep there. He got super sad when I said no. :0(. I hate that sad face when it shows once in a while. Breaks my heart.  He was fine though.

We went to Noni's at "5" and he is getting better and better at his swimming. Just a fun and great kid. I keep waiting for the day I report something bad. Not going to happen!

Still a good eater and no problems.

July 23rd

train ride



oh sooo much fun



Vadym climbing walls



Today we just did a bunch of fun things at the campground. Rode bikes, jumpy "thing", rock wall, playground tag, train ride, eat a huge breakfast. Just all day fun stuff. Vadym would also go take time for himself once in a while and shut down on my phone or take a bike ride. Grandma and Zio Gene showed up later and we had a great big camp dinner and he ate a ton. He also loves to play chess with the boys in the RV.

Nothing different to report except he is just still a great kid and we love him more every day. My hubby is getting very attached to him also. He is just that kind of kid. He is never in trouble and never causes a fuss about anything.

check out the fun pix so far

https://picasaweb.google.com/108914981901069890156/July252011?authuser=0&feat=directlink

July 22nd

Today we got up and took the boys to Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk after they played for a while at the campground. We first went to breakfast and he kept picking at his back teeth and showed me he was in pain. Poor beebee. I told him on google translate that I would give him some medicine for pain and take him to the Dentist to fix his back teeth. We have been teaching him to brush everyday so I am not sure is it is aggravating his back teeth or not but they are pretty bad. I can see the pain in his eyes and he shook his head yes with gratitude.

When we got to the Boardwalk we first did the haunted house which he loved even though it was super scary for me and Grego :0). We took the boys on all the rides they were high enough for and had a blast. Vadym shows no fear of anything. He especially loved when I would scream like crazy. He would point to me and crack up so of course I did this on every ride. He is just super fun. Gary got him an ice cream dip and this was a big hit. We also played lots of games.

We got back to the camp and they rode bikes and played. The Keegan family showed up with their son and Vika the girl they are hosting and going to adopt. Vadym and Vika took off together and sat talking on the swings for a good 30 minutes or more. It was so cute how happy they were to see each other. They played close that night and talked a lot. We cooked a fun camp dinner and had smores and they played on the playground with flashlights. 10pm bedtime.

He is having less alone times but he does not like to lose at anything. He seems more hurt than anything. He will still take time out for himself when he needs to but it doesn't last long and he comes back with a smile. He is starting to sing a lot and do this funny belly dance. He also does his little air guitar which is also too funny. He wants to make everyone happy and smile and always likes to be told he is a good boy. He is really close with all of us.

July 21st.

 

Today the boys went to sports camp for a bit and I picked them up early to leave for camping. Vadym's coach (a teenage girl) ran out and hugged him goodbye and spoke Russian words to him. Big smiles.

When he got into the motor home he was a little light bulb. It was so cute so see him so excited. He kept putting his thumb up like Fonzie while he explored it wildly. I let them ride in it with Gary and I followed behind. When we got to the beach the boys jumped out and explored the playground and jumped on their bikes. We unloaded a little bit and then jumped on our bikes to be sure they were being safe. We had to tell Vadym to slow down a bit around the campground because he was a wild man. He understood, smiled and said "ok". Such a good boy.

We hung out at the camp and they slept well.
Another fun day of discovery for Vadym.

July 20th

I got a call yesterday about Vadym that was a lead from our host yahoo group. It's a support group the hosting company has that allows all the host parents an opportunity to talk (write), share, report, and keep up on all the laws. Just a great support tool and way to be connected. Makes it easy for the host company as well. Everything is posted on files, families post all their photos. It's so helpful.

She has been trying to adopt domestic for 5 years. Ugh! I explained the rules of Ukraine adoption and how she can have a child in 6 to9 months and connected her with others who can help her.

Vadym and Grego went off happily to camp today. He did seem a little sad when he left but Gary said he was fine and they ran into the gym with no problems. (I like to think he is just sad to leave me but I don't think so). I notice that with Vadym if he is not busy it seems to give him time to get sad. I wish I knew what was going on in his precious little head. Swimming is a must today! It is a great time for us to focus on the kids and play with no distractions. 

I confirmed with him this morning we are going camping. His eyes light up and he says "tomorrow" in Russian. I have figured that word out :0). I love his little voice and to listen to him speak Russian. We are communicating fine. Gary does really well talking to him to. It just takes patients and the willingness to understand. We all do just fine. I know this was Gary's biggest fear when we first talked about hosting. It is not a big deal. I feel like Gary does not even have a problem at all or notice he has to try harder with Vadym. It just come natural after the first couple days.

Today when we went swimming he asked me if he could take off his arm floaties. I told him ok but to stay in the shallow end. He then practiced and practiced swimming and started to do it right before our eyes. He is just amazing.

Jul 19, 2011

Tuesday July 19th

Grego has been sick so can't go to camp today and when I asked Vadym if he still wanted to go he said "yes". When he says yes his eyes light up and he shakes his head up and down. He is such a joy.  I packed his lunch while he ate breakfast (eggs and ham again, his favorite) and he got ready to go. I went through his bag and showed him his change of clothes, lunch, Thermos, and mit because today is baseball day. He seemed a little confused but never puts up a fuss.

Vadym then started rattling in Russian while doing hand gestures wildly trying to tell me a story. Finally Grego told me he was telling me about the water balloon fight yesterday at camp. I love how my 6 year old son knows and translates Russian :0). I got excited with him and clapped as I did last night when he was telling me about soccor. He was so proud of his victory in the balloon fights...too cute. Gary took him out the door and he went happily even without Grego next to him for support. He is just the best kid!

I forgot to mention yesterday that he discovered my daughter's Elmo ABC toy. Elmo sings ABCs and you can push each letter and it says it out loud. Vadym loves this and practices it over and over. We now play the game on it where is asks what letter makes that sound and I help him figure it out. He knows most of them now but still have trouble with the ones that sound the same like C and V. He watches my mouth when I say them so he can do it right. He likes to sing the song also and we do it a lot. Again he watches my mouth. I also point to each letter when we sing it so now he does that to follow along. If you are wondering, yes, this brings tears to my eyes to watch this smart little boy discover and learn with such joy and curiosity. He really wants to learn English. This has been like watching a butterfly emerge from a cocoon day by day.

When he came home from camp he ate a lot, went out to ride his bike and then came in to hang out with me. He wildly explained his day at camp and told me how he hit the baseball far and got a home run. I again clapped and got very excited for him. Big smiles. He wanted to go swimming tonight but I think we are going to pass. I explained we might not on Google Translate and we will see how Papa felt when he got home from work. He was fine with this. He layed on my bed next to me and played on my phone while I typed then grabbed the DS which he does not play often. He likes to just be next to me. I can be cooking or typing or just talking to him. He did the same thing with Serg his chaperon. He forms bonds with his caregivers.

Poor Grego is still not well so he is just chilling and Vadym is fine with that. He knows he is not well and doesn't bother him to play.

We took them to Pizza tonight and he played video games. He ate tomatoes and cucumber from my salad and of course his favorite pizza. We came home and Grego wanted to pull out the hide a bed. Vadym didn't want to watch the movie but played Angry Birds on my phone for a while and then went to bed at 9. First late night. Wow!

Monday July 18th

This morning is the first day of sports camp at the church. He seems to know whats going on and told me what he wanted for lunch and watched me pack it while he ate breakfast. I have to never forget this.... but he waiting until I served Giuliana (2.5 years) and then folded his hands to say grace. Melt me! So precious!

He kept confirming we would get them at 3 from camp. I kept saying yes and then we would go swimming. This always makes him happy.

I took them over to the gym and introduced him to the director who knew all about him through our emails. Vadym looked in and saw all the boys playing basketball and seemed just fine with it. The director went over everything with me and then told me that he would not be in Grego's class because of the age difference but that he found another 8 year old boy to team him up with that spoke Russian. WHAT????? Are you kidding me? How awesome? God is watching over this boy.

Gary checked in during the afternoon and Vadym was doing great. He picked them up at 3 and when Vadym got home asked to "eat". He always does this by pointing to himself and that huge smile and say eat shaking his head yes. He was starving even though he ate most of his lunch and gobbled up a lot more than I expected him to. He again asked to swim and again I told him 5....big smiles. For the next couple hours he would either tell me or Gary how much time left to go swimming. He is so intelligent.

Swimming of course is his favorite part of the day. Gary would toss him in the water and Vadym would say "again, again". This went on for quite a while. After swimming we do our routine of going up to Noni's back patio and sitting with her while they eat the snack she gave them. Today he was sitting quiet during this time looking as if he would fall asleep. It has been a huge day for him.

We got home and while I cooked dinner he hung out with me in the kitchen and talked away (in Russian) about his day. All I could get from it was how he scored a goal in soccor as he demonstrated it over and over and put his hands up yelling something. I would clap and praise him and he was so happy. I had told him to take a bath and just went in and started his water so I would not get resistance. He seemed to be happy about the bubbles and the temperature of the water and went right in. SCORE! This has always been my biggest challenge...the bath. Again, I think it's a trust issue on top of the fact I don't think he experiences great bathing experiences and many at all. I let him shut the door and have his privacy and he seems to really appreciate that.

We had sausage (kielbasa) and Alfredo pasta. He asked for more pasta and cleared his plate. He explained to me that the pasta was good but the pasta on the airplane was horrible :). "Thank you Vadym". He does like my cooking. He loves for us to say grace. We also finally got him to wait until we were all sitting at dinner and say grace before he starts eating. He just didn't understand until now. He also helped me set the table. He just always wants to help and be told he is a good boy.

One thing worried me today. When I was making his lunch he confirmed we would be getting his sister a necklace. He then told me happily he had a mother and father in Ukraine. I stopped and looked at him and he shook his head yes with a big smile. I repeated what he said and he shook his head yes again and pointed to himself and said "i have moder, fader, seester, broder in Ukraine". I felt so bad. I didn't know what to say or if I should pursue the conversation. I changed the subject to focus on his sister again and he rambled in Russian about how when he was leaving that is all she wanted was a necklace. I need to talk to the host director about this or people from Ukraine but I know he lives in an orphanage so not sure if he is trying to make me think his life is perfect back home or if he really thinks he is going home to his parents. I will have him talk to them and see what I can find out so I know how to handle this. :0(

Again, we have been blessed with the perfect host child. Grego stopped speaking his own Russian to him finally but seems to translate a lot of what Vadym is trying to tell me when he rambles in Russian. Grego really likes Vadym and does not ever show any jealousy at all. Even when Gary plays with him and they laugh and giggle. I am very proud of my kids. They love him and have completely excepted him living with us this summer.

Sunday July 17

This morning Vadym actually slept in. When he got up he asked me again if this was the day he would see his friends from Ukraine. I told him yes they would be here at noon. He asked me if they could swim and I told him no we had a party tonight.

He asked for eggs with ham for breakfast and even had seconds. SCORE!

He saw me cleaning and he went into the bedroom and started to clean it preparing for his guests. He then came out and asked for a broom and went back in the room and shut the door to sweep the hardwood floor. He then came out and swept all the hardwood. I did not even ask him to do this. It was amazing to watch him. I am hoping my six year old picks up this habit of being tidy.

His friends arrived at noon right on schedule. They played and played. I have to say he is by far the mellowest of all the host children. Well Margarita is mellow but she is also older.

We then took the host children to the event and they played. Vadym ran up and hugged Noni and grandma when he saw them. He also hugged other host moms he had met before. He is just such a sweet boy. He laughed and played with his friends and would walk with me holding my hand. He had the beautiful big smile the whole time. Mid way through the event we sent the host children over to my house with a couple babysitters so they could play while we were busy. Vadym of course passed out on the couch at 7, right on schedule. Even with all the kids running around him. He is such a good sleeper.

When I got home I tried to wake him to move him to the bunk bed. Well, maybe, NO! He is one of those deep sleepers and would not get up. He did get up at some point during the night and went to bed. Such a good boy.

He had a great day. I am really trying hard to stick to things I tell him and I think that has built a huge trust. He always looks at his watch and likes to be on schedule. He also looks at the calendar a lot and confirms everything. Like today he pointed to Monday and said "sports camp". He remembers everything. When I tell him we will swim at 5 I make sure we swim at 5. He knows he can trust what I am telling him. He lights up when I confirm camping next weekend and Disneyland next month. He also seems to be ok with the day he goes home. I think he really misses his siblings. He is very close with my kids.

Another great day!

Saturday July 16th

Vadym again woke up before anyone else. When I came out to greet him he had a huge smile and said “good morning”. He then had to proudly show me he brushed his teeth and washed his face. When Giuliana got up he was so excited and picked her up to give her a big hug. He loves cereal.
He seems to be a different child in such a short time. He went through each toy box and checked out all the toys. Even in Giuliana’s room. He played with puzzles and action figures even dolls. He has a great imagination and is now outside riding a bike. He loves the bike and Gary brought out cody's old bike and told him it was his and he was elated.
He was a bit bored today because I was busy finalizing the event brochure but every time I asked him if he wanted to do something he would say "no" like don't worry about me. He is always thinking of other.
He is eating well but still only three meals a day. He is not a big snacker and never goes for seconds. He is neat and proper and has amazing manners. He gets along amazingly well with both my kids ages 6 and 2.5. They love him. My six year old is so great with him, I just watch him point to one of our family photos in a frame and say all the names because Vadym wanted to know who my older son was.
Gary took the boys swimming again this afternoon. Vadym asked me all day when we were going to go. I kept telling him at 5 and he kept confirming that and holding up 5 fingers. I bought him a watch a couple days ago so he is always looking at it. He also kept confirming that he would see Bogdon tomorrow. I finally called Cara and let him talk to Bogdon (another host child in Martinez. He is Vadym's friend and at the same orphanage).
When they got home from swimming he picked up all the papers I had thrown on the floor getting ready for my event tomorrow. He then walked over to the garbage and said “yes?”. I said “yes, thank you Vadym”.
“Your welcome” he replies. This kid is so super sweet and caring. I just always want to hug him but he is still not ready for that. I can't wait until he lets down that wall with me. We are almost there. At least we don't have any tears anymore. He is comfy here with us now. The chaperon even said it was too confusing for Vadym having him here but for me it was golden. It gave us time to let him know we were nice people.
He ate only meat tonight. No mashed potatoes or peas or even apple sauce. He did want to help me peel a potato but was done after doing just one. Not as easy for him as it looked.
he was in bed at 7:30. Just exhausted at night still. We had a great day and I know he is very happy. We have our event tomorrow but he will have his three friends from Ukraine here and my kids so I'm sure it will be a great day for him.
We talked about his brother and sister again today. I think it is comforting for him that I know he has them back home.
He is learning a little bit more English every day. We do a lot of hand gestures and google translate to communicate. it works out fine.
Grego is so gentle and kind to Vadym. Never jealous or mean. Always talks to him slow and in short words so he can understand. "dinner Vadym". This is so good for him.
Starting Monday I hope to reach out to prospective adoptive parents to advocate for him and his siblings. I really want to help Vadym. I would adopt him in a second if we were in a position to do so. He is a complete joy.  

Friday July 15th

Vadym again got up early and went up to Serg’s room and they were all playing ball outside when I got up. Giuliana is in love with Vadym and Serg. She is always trying to take them by the hand to go play in her room.
Today the Chaperon Serg is leaving to the Keegan's house and then down to San Diego for the rest of the trip. He is such a great guy. We really enjoyed him. I made sure he prepared Vadym for his leaving. I took Vadym shopping at the grocery store with Grego and Giuliana. It was fine until my mom showed up and it turned into mass chaos. She took them to find toys and when they came back they each had a balloon and Giuliana was not about to stay with us. I told my mom she now had to stay to get me through the store. Vadym would run after Giuliana when she would take off. You can tell he is use to small kids. I pulled the photo of him with his siblings up on my phone and pulled him aside at the checkout. I showed him the photo and asked him if it was his brother and sister. He lit up like a Roman candle. I then told him to pick out something for them and his eyes got really big and he was so happy. He picked a Frisbee for his 4 year old brother and when he could not find something for his older sister I told him we would go to another store. He showed me he wanted to get her a necklace. I told him ok. This make him soo soo happy.
He did shut down twice today. Once when the neighbor girl came over to play. He got really upset and wanted nothing to do with her. Second when my friend showed up with her kids to go swimming. Lots of tears.
We came home and picked up Serg and I took Vadym with me to drop him off. We did have tears on the way home and he went outside to hide his soft sobs. I went out and told him we were going swimming and that made him happy. He does not like to cry in front of people. He is such a brave little guy.
I took them swimming at Noni’s in the afternoon with my friend and her kids. Vadym was squealing like a little piglet. Way too cute. He can’t swim but I had the arm floaters on him. He jumped off the diving board when Gary got there to help him. I played catch with him for a long time. I had to teach him to throw overhand and he would try to catch with his fingers laced together and palms up. Just priceless moments. He also learned to say “good catch” and we had to say it each time or he would look at me and wait to hear it before he would throw it back.
When we got home he had a snack and fell asleep on the couch. First night with no tears. Jackpot! I got up once and he looked at me and fell back asleep. BREAKTHROUGH!
BTW, Vadym just turned 8 years old. We really love this kid. He is so gentle and kind. Also very helpful and tidy. Can't say enough about him.

Thursday July 14th

When I finally got up Serg explained to me that Vadym had just had a bad hosting experience at Christmas. He said he was left alone a lot and the people gave themselves shots and smoked stuff in the car that they rolled that “smelt funny”. They were also covered in tattoos from the neck down.(not that that is bad just the drugs and neglect). Don’t ask me how these people were given permission to host but they scammed someone. I think that hosting company is now out of business as they are not hosting this summer. Good Thing.
Anyway, it broke my heart to hear that. This is a very kind and gentle child and to hear that he had such a bad time makes me crazy. As if his life isn’t hard enough. What is wrong with people???? I can’t wrap my mind around it.
We got ready and went shopping with the Keegans and Vika (another host child) for clothes for him as he came with a small backpack with little in it. This made him really happy. He was really good about picking out clothes. I am starting to just adore this kid. When we got home the Keegans came over with Vika with lunch and we all got ready to go to Monterey. Vadym instantly falls asleep any time we get in the car. He is still jet lagged.
We went to the aquarium and had lots of fun. He is always right there to help me with Giuliana. We went to dinner and the Ukraine kids were better behaved than our American kids. They ate well (cheese pizza) and veggies. He is good at eating three meals a day but still nothing in between.
We were in an elevator at one point with a handicapped girl who made loud noises and the Ukraine kids started laughing at her. It was interesting to see that Grego and Aiden did not. The Chaperon got after them but the damage was done. The mother screamed at us when she got 10 feet away. Totally understandable.
He again fell asleep early and woke up screaming once but went back to bed once I told him Serg was sleeping upstairs. Part of me can't wait for Serg to go so we can bond with him but then part of me wishes we had more time with the transfer.
Serg is the best. Fun and friendly and great with all the kids, especially Vadym.  

Wednesday July 13th

The kids missed their flight so they had to stay in Germany one night. They had a detour at customs so all of us who were waiting at the exit with our signs had to go up to departure to meet them. Serg the chaperone was burnt out you could see. He just wanted to get going. It was a little chaos but all of a sudden Vadym appeared through crowd and pointed to himself in my poster. I knelt down and tried to hug him but he stiffened up. He was all smiles and we took a bunch of pictures. He pulled out our letter to him from his backpack and pointed to Giuliana in the pictures. I told him she was at home and he said “home’ and smiled. I then pulled out the Ukraine/English picture book and he pointed directly at the pool. I then pointed to the photo of the pool in our letter and asked if he wanted to swim and he got very excited and said yes.

We dealt with the paperwork and said our goodbyes and headed out with Vadym and the chaperone. Vadym instantly changed his demeanor and would not talk. By the time we got to our truck he was tearing up. I think he was super sad to leave his friend Bogdon on top of being extremely tired and scared. The chaperone went to smoke and Vadym thought he was leaving and burst out in sobs. He then passed out on the way home. He followed Serg everywhere and you could see he was his security. He did little sobs and would go outside and pace back and forth. He did not want anything to do with me or Gregorio. Grego tried very hard to communicate with him but it was too overwhelming for him. The chaperone kept giving him pep talks and making him laugh but when he would leave to his room Vadym would freak out.

He did not want to shower but Serg sent him in. I made him a nice bubble bath and gave him clean clothes and he came out in tears.

He would not eat or drink and they both were asleep by 5 pm. At midnight he woke up screaming and I had to assure him that Serg was there but sleeping. We sat on the couch and played on Google Translate and played Chess. At 2:30 am I told him it was time for bed and he went like a good little boy. At 5:30 am he woke up screaming again. I got up and he made me open the computer game and assure him again that Serg was there.

I fell asleep on the couch and he saw me and went back to bed. I then heard him get up and go outside to see Serg. Serg was also awake and I could hear them talking.

Serg is a kick. He and Gary hit it off instantly and he is amazing and comforting to the children.

Day one complete and on to day two. I can see this boy is deathly afraid of me and I am super scared what is going to happen when Serg leaves to the next family in a couple days.

https://picasaweb.google.com/108914981901069890156/Jul192011?authuser=0&authkey=Gv1sRgCO7MwtW19KuW3AE&feat=directlink